Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
