dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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