You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
