its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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