the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize