Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
