here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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