So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize