Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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