i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
