I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
