I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
