Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
