i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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