At least make sure they are 18
Why
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
