i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Your dad touched me again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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