I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize