ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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