You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize