Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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