guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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