would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
