I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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