fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
