Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
