I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
