I just made out with a guy for $7.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
