Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
