Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just high enough for therapy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
