Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
