90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize