There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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