question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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