Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
