Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
