what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
