I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
