Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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