my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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