Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Everything about him screamed your future.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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