we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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