yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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