My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
