sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you win again, gameday.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
