cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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