ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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