Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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