yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
