I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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