By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
