I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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