so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We had sex on a dog bed..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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