i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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