My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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