chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
