Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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