the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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