if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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