Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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