I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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