like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
