There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
