Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have aggressive nipples.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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