She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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