ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
