either way he was missing a nipple.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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