how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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