So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My life is pants optional.
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