perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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