TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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