His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
