porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
