By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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