Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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